God Works

I am sitting here in bed at a complete lost for words.  Tonight at church, the service was absolutely astounding.  The words that Brent shared for undoubtedly inspired from God.  I just wanted to touch on a point that he made.  He said that he had trouble looking back into his past, and depressing himself by the mistakes he made, and he said that you simply have to live in the present and that tomorrow is another day.  I have struggled with this a lot. Over the past few months, no matter how close i try to connect with God, I always flash back to the mistakes i have made and i begin to believe the notion that God is very disappointed in me.  I know that this isn't true, but when you hang on to something for that long, it festers inside of you like a virus.  The thought that helps me sometimes is if you were to right a number, say 21 on a chalkboard, and then you were to erase it, you would still remember that the number on the board was 21, right? Well if 21=sin, God doesn't remember.  The Bible says that if you ask for forgiveness, He forgives and COMPLETELY forgets.  

Recently an event happened to me.  I had been dreading this for months, bc i thought it would bring so much pain to me, and it would flood my brain with my sinful past.  What i experienced, though, wasn't sadness, or even anger.  It was joy.  I had joy in my heart bc God had healed my heart and shaped me and changed me from what i was.  If this had happened to me 6 months ago, i know i would've lost it.  Don't get me wrong, i know that sometime in the near future, Satan is going to try his very best to turn this situation against me, bc he knows that this has been so close to my heart for years. But the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want.  I refuse to let Satan control my life anymore.  This next month, because, since it is fresh in my mind, i will most likely be thinking about it all the time.  But you know what?  I have been worrying about this for 7 months now, for ABSOLUTELY no reason.  It didn't change anything, it just simply made me hate myself and fall away from God, and I'm sure over the next month that Satan is going to use this to his advantage.  

***Im sure that this might be confusing to some people.  I wrote this in a hurry because i wanted to get my thoughts down on paper before i forgot them.  If anyone wants to know more about the situation and some of the details, i'd be glad to share them with you. 

God may seem like he doesn't answer your prayers, but simply wait on Him, because He has plans or you that are bigger than you could ever imagine. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but God's timing does.

Technology and Life. WWJD

Throughout most of my life, i have viewed technology as an instrument of escape.  If i was bogged down with homework, or if i was simply bored, i would turn on my laptop or tv and i'd be entertained.  But the more i look around at society, the more i see that technology is ruining relationships and ruining social skills.  Take for example: you meet someone for the first time.  You say hi or whatever and hang out for a bit, and than later you go home and you Facebook them to stay connected, and that is where it begins.  It is much easier to talk to someone on Facebook or by texting than it is to see them face to face; so someone can sit in their room and talk to 100 people at once, but can still feel connected.  Eventually it comes to a point where they almost don't want to hang out with said person because it is awkward, that is of course until they get back to Facebook and then they are best friends again.  We live in a generation that doesn't want to have difficult conversations.  We all want to be liked by everybody, and being the slightest bit vulnerable or open scares people to do death because they don't want to alter their appearance.  I'm not judging anyone, because i am guilty of this too.  But from my experience the more you bottle things up, the more you will resent yourself and become uncomfortable with people.  With me, my biggest hurdle is definitely loneliness.  I know that i am a natural isolated person who likes being alone, but if you look back on your favorite memories in life, were you ever alone?  Technology can give you what you want right away, whether it be games, news, sports, or even advice.  But it can never have a laugh with you, or pick you up when your feeling down. It can never be there for you when you need someone to talk to. It can't help you get better if your sick, and it can't give you hope.  Jesus can.  People can.  I don't believe that Jesus wants us to be lonely, and yes i know that He is always there for us whenever we call on him, but that doesn't mean that that is a valid explanation for isolating yourself away from everyone else.  He put other people on this earth for a reason. He wants us to grow with them and learn from out mistakes that we will inevitably make with them.  

     If Jesus came to earth for one day, and offered you a chance to spend it with Him, do you think he would be ok with you hanging around him for a few hours and then go home, only to text him later and friend request him? Of course not.  I guess what i'm trying to say is is that their are few people in this world that can distinguish when someone is in pain, or that can walk up to the quiet and shy kid who is by himself at the party(i.e. me lol ;)).  We need to put the technology aside and build a bonding relationship with them. Because, who knows, maybe that person will turn out to be your best friend.  Maybe they will blow away your expectations and make a huge impact on you, or maybe he/she will never forget that someone took the effort to break the ice for the sake of conversation.  It's what Jesus did.  He bonded emotionally with complete strangers because he saw something deeper in them that no one else did.  That is something that technology simply cannot achieve, and when we put technology first, we are not only cheating ourselves, we are also cheating others as well. 

Sheltering

Sometimes i think parents get a bit carried away when it comes to parenting.  I read a story the other day about how a guy was 23 years old and had never played in a sporting event where they kept score, so when he finally played football where the teams kept score, he couldn't handle it.  He got angry and snapped and attacked his friends because he hated being called a "loser".  The same theme could be related to kids who are "protected" from tv or dangerous activities, because the parents believe that they are saving they're children from the inhumanity that is the world.  I'm not ripping on parents who do, and I'm not supporting parents who let their children do whatever they feel like doing.  What makes me furious is when a christian kid/ young adult is forbidden or looked down upon for hanging out with less than reputable characters.  Jesus did not call us to be of the world, but to live in the world, and , from a little bit of personal experience, if you hammer into your child's heads the idea that if your friends aren't christians, than your future is in jeopardy and that you should abandon them immediately. BS.  What is really hilarious is when they try to argue the age old saying, "Show me your friends, and i'll show you your future".  Hmmmm, yeah, your absolutely right.  Jesus hung around with prostitutes, tax collectors, and murderers. I Guess he turned out to be a real sleezeball, huh?  Cut the umbilical cord and let your kid live their life, and stop being such hypocritical legalist. 

Playing it Safe

I used to be that way.  I would never go  anywhere that i wasn't comfortable with.  I'd never do anything slightly illegal or  dangerous even if the rewards FAR outweighed the risks or consequences. Unsurprisingly, i can honestly say that i have never felt more alive than my nights in chicago, trespassing and climbing bridges and buildings, and most notably, getting arrested.  i has always mulled over in my head what jail would be like, or what my reactions would be.  Of course, at the time, i was scared, but also alive at the same time, and looking back now, i do it again.  i'm sure that people thought i was stupid or childish, but i hate the idea that once you get older, you can't have a childish side.  i'm not saying go all out and be a full blown 6 year old, but i do think that a lot of people give up on doing some things just because they are afraid that other people will look down on them.  That is simply no way to live life.  I wish more people could have an imagination, or a wild side.  Living life to the letter, in my opinion, would be the most boring, dull, and unexciting way to exist.  Trespassing and breaking the law would be considered stupid to most people, and sometimes i think it was dumb, but then i think of how i felt that night, and the way it changed me, I'm glad i did it.  Maybe i'm just part adrenaline junkie, or maybe i'm just someone who realizes that life is too short to wait for everyone's approval.  Either way, I like it.