God Works

I am sitting here in bed at a complete lost for words.  Tonight at church, the service was absolutely astounding.  The words that Brent shared for undoubtedly inspired from God.  I just wanted to touch on a point that he made.  He said that he had trouble looking back into his past, and depressing himself by the mistakes he made, and he said that you simply have to live in the present and that tomorrow is another day.  I have struggled with this a lot. Over the past few months, no matter how close i try to connect with God, I always flash back to the mistakes i have made and i begin to believe the notion that God is very disappointed in me.  I know that this isn't true, but when you hang on to something for that long, it festers inside of you like a virus.  The thought that helps me sometimes is if you were to right a number, say 21 on a chalkboard, and then you were to erase it, you would still remember that the number on the board was 21, right? Well if 21=sin, God doesn't remember.  The Bible says that if you ask for forgiveness, He forgives and COMPLETELY forgets.  

Recently an event happened to me.  I had been dreading this for months, bc i thought it would bring so much pain to me, and it would flood my brain with my sinful past.  What i experienced, though, wasn't sadness, or even anger.  It was joy.  I had joy in my heart bc God had healed my heart and shaped me and changed me from what i was.  If this had happened to me 6 months ago, i know i would've lost it.  Don't get me wrong, i know that sometime in the near future, Satan is going to try his very best to turn this situation against me, bc he knows that this has been so close to my heart for years. But the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want.  I refuse to let Satan control my life anymore.  This next month, because, since it is fresh in my mind, i will most likely be thinking about it all the time.  But you know what?  I have been worrying about this for 7 months now, for ABSOLUTELY no reason.  It didn't change anything, it just simply made me hate myself and fall away from God, and I'm sure over the next month that Satan is going to use this to his advantage.  

***Im sure that this might be confusing to some people.  I wrote this in a hurry because i wanted to get my thoughts down on paper before i forgot them.  If anyone wants to know more about the situation and some of the details, i'd be glad to share them with you. 

God may seem like he doesn't answer your prayers, but simply wait on Him, because He has plans or you that are bigger than you could ever imagine. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but God's timing does.